For any woman who has ever planned her own wedding, I'm sure they know what kind of day I'm talking about. The kind of day where you don't want to see, hear, touch, or even think of anything wedding. You don't want to discuss a color shade, or put together programs let alone think about doing these tasks. This has been me for the last 3 months.
I am 101 days away from my wedding. Woo-hoo, right? Not so much. I swear it's not cold feet. It's more or less being burnt out. Let's start at the beginning.
I got engaged on November 7, 2009 and starting November 1, 2009, my mother wanted to plan my wedding. Within an hour of my fiance asking her and my dad if he could ask me to marry him, my mom wanted to start planning my wedding. Back story about that: I knew he was going to ask them. He had wanted to ask me two weeks into dating me, but I told him that he had to ask my parents first. Or at least my dad. We came home over Halloween weekend to visit and I was the MOH in my best friend's wedding that weekend and so he asked them then. I knew when he was going to ask them, how he was going to ask them and I pretty much knew when he was going to ask me. The night my fiance proposed to me, I was actually on the phone with my mom discussing venues and whether we want the ceremony and reception at the same one or if we wanted to make everyone commute. Things started really fast.
Fast forward to January 2010. We had been engaged for almost 3 months and we'd already settled on a location, a date, our theme and our colors. (The only one that was true to what I wanted from the very beginning was our location. I had to change my date because of the venue, I had to change my theme and colors because my mom didn't agree with the vision I had.) Next thing I know, we're buying my dress and buying my girls' dresses. It'd only been THREE months. I already wanted to take a breather.
Now to June 2010. It's been almost 7 months since I got engaged and it's 5 months until the "Big Day". Now we've got my dress in for alterations, our invitations are printed up and addressed already, we're starting to put together programs and our cake is ordered and paid for. Now it's time to get the guys in to be measured for tuxes and what-not. No big deal. Got that done and then my mom tells me it's time to start putting together center pieces, go buy her dress and my two grandmother's dresses and put together the ties we're using to keep people off the aisle. Ugh. Breather definitely needed now.
Today is August 4, 2010. I am 3 months and 9 days away from my wedding day. And I don't want to do anything wedding. I don't want to put together center pieces, I don't want to put together the ties to keep people of the aisle, and I certainly don't want to fight with trying to find a hair and make up artist. This last statement brings me to the real reason behind why I'm even blogging today.
My mom is the most impatient person in the freaking world! It's as if her internal clock is ticking at 5 seconds per second. It's like she always feels like she can never catch up. It's driving me mental.
We have 4 members of our bridal party that have to travel to get here for the wedding day. Two are coming from Iowa, one is coming from England and the other is coming from Hawaii. No big deal. My England girl already has her flight booked and has had it booked since June (she's always in a hurry to come back to the US.) The groomsman coming from Hawaii is my fiance's dad and definitely already has his ticket booked to get here for the wedding. No way would his dad miss this as he'll be the only member of my fiance's family attending the wedding (and I'm not even going to get into that right now. That's a whole other rant session there.). So now the only two left are the bridesmaid and groomsman coming from Iowa. The groomsman actually already purchased his ticket about a month ago. We were stoked because that meant we had one person left to worry about getting here for the wedding. Then we find out that he had to cash his ticket in to pay some bills. No worries. I completely understand that times are tough. But my mom doesn't. My mom is beyond livid that he had to do this because now she seems to think that he's not going to make it out here. Ugh. Seriously mother, shut up. Then we found out that my bridesmaid wasn't going to be able to purchase her plane ticket until September because she was behind on paying her rent. Again, I said that it was no big deal. But, because my mom is in such a rush, she decides it would be worth it to go down and pay almost $400 just to make sure that my bridesmaid gets here. Fine, it's her money. I don't care anymore.
Now, my mom has decided that she "needs" to jump down my throat about not having found a hair and make up artist. Not from a lack of trying, I have no one. I have a friend who's interested in doing the make up, but I have been unable to get ahold of her. And this irritates my mom. We were supposed to meet up with my friend last weekend to discuss payment and technique and whatever. Unfortunately, my friend was unable to make it. Her fiance got called into work and they only have one vehicle, so he had to take it. I completely understand. But my mom doesn't. She was so pissed off that my friend couldn't make it, that she decided that I was to blame for it. I'm the reason that my friend's fiance was called into work and I'm the reason why they only have one car. Whatever. I'm done hearing it. Well now, I've been trying to get ahold of her to reschedule, but haven't heard anything back. That's cool, I understand that she's busy. She works, her fiance works AND they own their own home. No big deal. Not to mention, they're in the process of planning their wedding. But of course, it's not cool with my mom. Because I haven't been able to get ahold of my friend, I'm now supposed to go in search of someone else to do make up because my mom "can't be bothered with someone who is too busy to assist her right this minute". (No those were not her words, but that's what she's implying with her tone of voice and her snide remarks.) I'm now that the point where a breather is becoming mandatory.
I'm done. I've finally thrown my hands in the air and said I'm done. At this point, I really don't care if the programs are or aren't put together and I don't care if someone walks down the aisle before me. I also don't care if no one shows up, including the bridal party. As long as at the end of the day I can marry my best friend and I know that he'll always be there for me, I don't care about what's happening today. Or what's not happening today. I want the next three months to pass by so fast that tonight when I go to bed, and I wake up tomorrow morning, I want it to be my wedding day. Just so that it can be here and then pass so that I can get back to my life before this stupid "planning process". I just can't be bothered anymore. I'm going to take a few days and talk about nothing wedding, look at nothing wedding and think about nothing wedding and then I'll come back to it. And then when I come back to it, will I find a hair and make up artist, then will I put the center pieces together. But today, I'm breathing. Just breathing.
-K
